Dad

Dear Dad,

It has been a week since your death and I do NOT feel any better.  I sit in your office more mad at you than I have ever been.  They say there are 6 steps to grief but I doubt I get past the 2nd one.  I HATE IT that you left so abruptly without any goodbyes.  Why did you not write a letter when you were told you had 9 months?  Or record a video?  How were you so certain you could beat this shit? And why in the world were you not honest with me?  You know it's funny Dad when I hear people say "I'd rather be a soldiers widow than a coward's wife" because I wonder if Mom feels that way.  I would rather you have stayed home from Vietnam so you were never exposed to "agent orange" and I bet, and this is just a guess, Mom feels the exact same way.  I want my father back.  I resent the fact you are gone and so many ungrateful people are here.  I'm trying to be strong like I told you I would but I feel it is impossible.  I hate this world and I'm really starting to not like God.    

Love but still pissed,

Lyndsey